Dear Baby: we prayed for you.

I remember this day. This was the day our lives changed forever yet again! We were SO happy baby! 

Daddy and I had been talking, praying, fasting, and preparing for you for some months now! It was such a difficult decision because mommy gets So sick! I felt like this time I was a bit more prepared because We had really planned you! You were all I asked for for Christmas this year ;). Anyways I had made a deep freezer full of dinners so that when I was sick the others would be taken care of. I had stocked up on paper products so that the dishes would be kept to a minimum. And I insisted the help of the ward when needed. 

This particular day on Jan 10th 2015 I lay awake way too early. Wishing, praying, pleading with the lord to send me just one more miracle baby. Today I was one day late but knowing given daddy and my track record I felt it was safe to assume we had hit the jackpot after one try lol. I lay awake listening to the peaceful deeming of Daddy and your older brothers and sisters. I just knew I had one more! It just felt right to have one more. I knew there was a spirit up there waiting for me. I tried to be as patent as possible laying there next to daddy not waking him too early because he had work all day and we had had a rough night with your siblings! Around 5:30-6 am I couldn't wait any longer. I woke up daddy and told him I had to pee so bad and I was going to take a test! I wasn't going to look at it just go potty and then wait so we could find out together. But before I even set it down it was already turning to a positive! I went and set it on dads night stand and crawled back in bed with him like nothing was up and we talked for a min about the what ifs. Finally I said you can Prob look now. He did and said "oh my gosh we're pregnant" !!!

It was one of the greatest days of my life baby. We laughed and cried and thanked God for this opportunity. You have been in every family prayer since little one. 

I want you so badly baby! I want to hold you and snuggle you! I want you to cry for me! I want to stay awake just me and you, rocking you while you coo at me holing my finger, telling me all your secrets. I haven't even met you yet and I already love you as much as these other nuggets I've gotten to do all those things with! Oh baby... I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you how much I love you and you actually understand me. 

I'll never stop praying for you my Baby. And never stop wishing I could hold you in my arms.