Because I've been asked so much lately how many children I have I've had to really face how I'm going to answer that question. There's the easiest 3, which is how many I'm raising, or there's the complicated 4 that then gets followed by "what are their ages" .... why do ppl have to be so nice and want to be my friend lol. No in all honesty their kindness has been such a blessing. The real problem is why does this question have to be so complicated. It causes such stress and ptsd for me. I've honestly had panic attacks because either I'm worried I will get asked this question and not know what to say or I get asked the question and know what I should say but I just can't do it. It gets awkward for these poor strangers who are getting way more than they bargained for.
A few months ago with attending my churches young woman's Sunday school class. They had some moms in there that either currently had or had experienced sending a child off to a full time LDS mission. If your not familiar with these the jist of it is that our youth, generally 18 year old boys and 19 year old girls, chose to devote 18 months to 2 years of their life serving our Father in Heaven by spreading the gospel to people in diverse places... They pack few items and are shipped to where the Lord calls them. They put their lives on hold and devote every waking moment to the service of the people around them and the service of teaching all they can about our Lord Jesus Christ.
As I sat there listening to these sweet moms... some of which were right in the thick of missing the heck out of their babies I felt for them... I felt with them... they said things like "I miss him so much but I know he is where the Lord wants him to be" and "I know that she is blessing those she is serving more than anything she could be doing here right now" and "I really look forward to the next time they get to call or write and I look forward to finally getting to hug them again" ........ These sweet moms. How everything they said resonated with me... I too miss my sweet Amirra, I also know she is exactly where our father in heaven wants her to be. I feel strongly that she is serving more on that side then she would have been on this side... I too wait, so very impatiently, for the next time I get to feel her presence near. And on some days I still remember what it feels like to want to die just so I can hold her in my arms once more time.
I gained both strength and pain from this experience... I was so saddened that they got that sweet reunion with their missionaries. Those precious youth served their 18 months and then went home to the moms who's arms were acing to hold them. I was strengthened because I now had a response to that tough question of "how many kids do you have, how old are they, where's the 4th one"?
Now I simply say I have 4 children my 4th is currently serving a full fulltime mission on the other side of the veil.
Some day's I still wish I could write to the first presidency and demand to know why my missionary hasn't been sent home yet!?! She has served her time now give her back to me! I bet that conversation would make it into someone's conference talk down the road LOL!! But in the meantime I will draw strength from the knowledge that she is on a sacred mission, one that blesses my life as well as others. I will forever look forward to our sweet reunion when my arms wrap around her and I tell her how very proud I am of her and the work she has done. And then I will never, ever let go.
Loving her despite the time and distance
Longer Than Life
One of the best gift I've ever received.
